30 March 2009

MsWord = lolwut?

Okay! Okay. Guys, here is a perfect example of why MsWord's grammar check is made of fail and you might as well just turn it off right now, as it will always steer you in the wrong direction.
So I'm writing, right, and I wrote a sentence containing the phrase "can of shaving creme". Okay? So MsWord didn't recognize that I was using "can" as a noun, which is a common mistake for it so whatever. But to amuse myself I clicked it to see what suggestions it had, and it told me to change "can" to "could".
Remember, please, that "can" was followed immediately by "of".
Thaaaat's right, folks, MsWord thinks that the phrase "could of" is grammatically correct.
And that is why it fails.

Because I can't remember whether I've covered this or not, please note: the phrase people usually mean when they say "could of" is "could've", which is the contraction for "could have". "Could of" is a bastardization based on normal pronunciation and is never correct. Ever. So there.

Why yes, I am actually using Word 2003, so it's entirely possible that this particular issue may not exist in newer versions; that said, it's an excellent example of why you should never trust a machine to do your proofreading for you, because issues like this will always crop up here or there.

24 March 2009

Tua mater, fuckers.

This blog isn't dead, I swear, it's just really inactive.
Gods, I wish I had time to sift through online writing and find things to get angry about...
Well ANYWAY, here's a rant.

Basically this concerns something that happens in spoken word.
I keep seeing people wanting to quote Latin things in their writing, right? And that's fine, Latin is made of cool and anything you write, anything, sounds cool in Latin. You could say, like, Non sum fatuum, tu es, and that sounds cool. So that's not the complaint.
My complaint is that, when these people read their work out loud, they totally fail to get the pronunciation right.
And they sound so damn smug about it!
Like, "Oh, look at me, I'm so smart, I used LATIN. Listen to me! SO SMART." Except that the whole illusion is broken by the fact that they have no clue how to pronounce anything in this language.
Even that wouldn't be that bad normally, since it's a dead language and all. Like I said, it's the smug tone that does it. That self-satisfied look on their faces, like they really think that they're the smartest person in the room, all while butchering even a phrase as simple as veni, vidi, vici.

HINT: It's pronounced wenee, weedee, weekee. Latin V's are pronounced as English W's, and C's are never pronounced as Ch's (they are actually always pronounced as a K).

My school is guilty of it too. Our motto is Vires, Artes, Mores, and everyone always pronounces that with an English V. I think the only person on my campus I've seen pronounce Latin things right is my Classics teacher, because her main field of study is Roman stuff so she's pretty damn good with her Latin!
(Also I'm still trying to figure out what they mean by Vires. Is that... that's courage or something? Strength, maybe? My dictionary also says "manliness", and I know that the motto was first adopted back when the school was a women-only college. Could anyone better with Latin help me out?)

So, look, either get the pronunciation right or stop acting so damn smug. It's all up to you.