Dialogue post #2

Let’s continue talking about dialogue, shall we?
This time, let’s focus on dialogue tags.

Dialogue tags are those little things that we put outside the dialogue to indicate who is speaking. They are things like “he said” and “she asked”.
They, like dialogue itself, are tricky!

I think middle school teachers everywhere have fucked us up.
It seems like every middle school teacher, at some point in time, tells their students that the word “said” is not okay. They tell us to use words like “exclaimed”, “pouted”, “shouted”, “murmured”, “cried”, “ejaculated” and… ugh, let’s just back up, okay?
Let me tell you right now that the word “said” is okay to overuse. I swear to you with every fiber of my being that it’s okay! Your middle school Language Arts teacher was a filthy liar. That poster she put on the wall was wrong. It’s okay. Use “said” to your heart’s content.
Alternative dialogue tags are okay too, but only in moderation. It’s sort of like salt. You put a little in your food and it tastes great, but a lot tastes godawful and shit, shit, I’m so thirsty, my vision’s dimming, oh god, I see a light…
I’m not exaggerating.
Dialogue tags need to be transparent. Actually, all prose needs to be transparent, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Basically, they need to be there, they need to carry out their designated function, but the reader shouldn’t trip over them. The reader should be imagining in their head what’s going on, and not the words that are actually written on the page.
So “said” is okay. It’s also okay to exclude a tag entirely, provided it’s clear who’s talking. Just please don’t give me a million alternative tags.

Conversely, action tags are fucking brilliant! Granted, they can be overused or misused too, but they’re wonderful because they really prevent your scene from turning into just a bunch of talking heads. Insert a description of an action before, after, or in between dialogue. Let me illustrate. Let’s start with this:

”I’m not a hermit,” Tavvy said.

“Sure you are,” Cath said, “This is the first time I’ve gotten you to go out in weeks.”

“I’ve just been busy.”

“Yeah. Busy being a hermit.”

It’s fine, sure, but a little boring. Now let’s try this:

”I’m not a hermit,” Tavvy said, stirring his soup.

“Sure you are,” Cath said, “This is the first time I’ve gotten you to go out in weeks.”

Tavvy looked off to his side. “I’ve just been busy.”

“Yeah,” Cath rolled his eyes, “Busy being a hermit.”

See the difference? Instead of just hearing their voices, we’re imagining the whole character, moving and breathing. But notice that I did leave one “he said” in there, because overuse of action, like I said, can also be bad.

Overuse of anything, really, is bad.
Moderation is the key to writing, guys.

…

Oh, and things like “he said [insert something here]ly” make me want to kill you all
-ly adverbs are horrible and bad and goddammit, just because “Just-Kidding” Rowling uses them does not make them okay!
But that’s a rant for another day.